So I'm dating a boy. Have been for 5 months or so. I think we might be perfect for each other, as evidenced by a recent IM conversation that took place after the Jamaica trip was upsetting the natural order of my colon:
notlisa (5:05:14 PM): oh, by the way
notlisa (5:05:18 PM): i never pooped today
notlisa (5:05:22 PM): what-the-eff
newboyfriend (5:05:35 PM): ummm
newboyfriend (5:05:40 PM): you've got to be kidding me
notlisa (5:05:48 PM): i even had a big ol' fruit salad and an iced coffee for lunch
notlisa (5:05:56 PM): and coffee for breakfast
notlisa (5:05:59 PM): that's it.
notlisa (5:06:04 PM): oh, and a wishful thinking, "let's get this party started" cigarette this morning
newboyfriend (5:06:55 PM): I'm going to have some words with your bowels
notlisa (5:06:55 PM): i'm about to head home where i plan on having cigarette after cigarette until this Rosemary's Poopie decides to finally make its evil way into the world
newboyfriend (5:07:02 PM): ha ha ha
newboyfriend (5:07:05 PM): I love it
notlisa (5:07:21 PM): so annoying
newboyfriend (5:07:40 PM): no kidding...
Isn't he just dreamy?