Our arguments always start innocently enough. Meaning: Boyfriend and I are doing something innocent (ie. watching TV, eating dinner, drinking adult beverages) and I start them because a) Boyfriend is so easily provoked and b) I am so easily entertained.
Take the other night, for example. We were laying on my couch flipping through channels when we found a nice treat: the very beginning of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Delight of delights, we caught it in its first five minutes. I guess it's bad luck on our part, but we always manage to catch the tail end of really good movies. I'll be flipping through the HBOs when I'll see what looks like a good hour of The Princess Bride. When I click on it, I'm immediately disappointed to see the credits rolling. As you wish, my ass.
So we watched the entire movie, even though it was edited for time and interrupted by commercials. Ferris Bueller is that good. As Rooney is caught, Ferris is not and the school bus drives away, I instigate (ahem, I meant "accidentally initiate") an argument.
"You know, if we were in this movie I don't really think I'd be Sloane. I'd have to be Ferris."
"You absolutely would not be Ferris! I would be Ferris!! What are you thinking?"
"Well, I'm typically the outgoing one, the social one, the spontaneous one, the one who shakes things up and schemes. And you're more... not Ferris."
I can see him consider my points and realize they have validity. However, he doesn't want to admit to any of that. He says:
"That's not true. Not even a little bit. I am so Ferris. If I'm not Ferris then who would I be? Sloane?"
"Well, let's see... you're a self-proclaimed neurotic. You're not terribly social and prefer the company of yourself or your girlfriend to the company of crowds. Your favorite thing is to next-step and plan ahead. You like routine and order."
"I'm not Cameron."
"I never said you were Cameron."
"It was implied."
"It most certainly was not. I'm just saying that you're clearly not Ferris."
"Well then, who the hell am I if I'm not Ferris and I'm not Cameron?"
"I never said you weren't Cameron."