"hi, my name is Not and I'm an..."

This weekend I received a late-night text message from a good friend of mine (we'll call her Lynn):

"Mega-Date is tomorrow and G-man still doesn't have anyone to go with him. Can you go? Just say yes."

Lynn and her roommates (both dudes) had come into some free Six Flags tickets and decided to plan The Event of Winter 2007: Mega-Date. Unfortunately, G-man was the only roommate in the house without a significant other and is, apparently, lacking in available-girls-who-are-just-friends. He and I are good friends so this request wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

Except, you know, G-man is one of my ex-boyfriends. That should come as no big surprise, given that I recently calculated that I've had a boyfriend for going on 11 years now.

Anyhoodle, I asked Boyfriend what he thought.

"Hey, do you mind if I go on a date with my ex-boyfriend?"

"Which one?"

Oh-so-funny, that Boyfriend.

When he realized I was talking about the non-threatening G-man that I dated so very long ago in another collegiate universe, permission was immediately granted. That was one motivating factor; the other was that he passionately abhors all things involving great heights (see: Six Flags' roller coasters).

So off we went on the Mega-Date. We rode the Titan three times, the swings, the Runaway Mine Train, the ShockWave. We ate funnel cakes and drank hot chocolate. We laughed at the Looney Toons characters in tights and took pictures while skipping through the park. G-man shot free-throws in the arcade while I yelled "Mama wants a Shrek doll!!" All in all, we had a blast. We acted like small children again and loved every minute of it.

This morning I was re-living the fun day through a conversation with The Boyfriend. And then I noticed a strange realization welling up in the back of my brain.

"Oh, my lord."

"What?"

"I just realized that I can't even remember the last time I did something with my friends that, in some form or fashion, didn't involve alcohol."

"Wow. You guys have issues."

I dared him to name the last time he was with his friends and they didn't consume at least a little alcohol. He named two times and I reminded him that, on both occasions, his 11-year-old brother was the reason they all got together. That they really would have problems if they involved him in their binge drinking.

I've tried all day long to remember the last time I got together with friends and didn't drink. I can't recall a single instance. Sure, we'll get together to watch TV together or meet up for casual dinners but someone has always had a rough day and comes equipped with wine or vodka.

Surely this isn't what they call addiction... is it?

Good grief, this is difficult. I need a glass of wine to get me through these hard times.